Mindstate Motivation Blog

4 Keys to Self Confidence


About 20 years ago a highly acclaimed movie was playing in theaters. The storyline of the movie was riddled with self-confidence and self-esteem issues. The lead character is followed through his path of losing everything and deciding to end it all in an alcoholic stupor. The movie was entitled, Leaving Las Vegas.

Well, I hope you don’t have the deep self-esteem and confidence issues of Ben Sanderson in the movie. However, we all can be challenged in that way at various times in our lives. The key is to know how to pull yourself out of a “Ben Sanderson” kind of funk.

Here are four keys to do exactly that.

Key # 1

First, take a look at yourself in the mirror. YOU are the most important element to your level of self-confidence. As you look at yourself in that mirror force yourself to recognize you’re one of a kind and once your life is over there won’t be anyone quite like you ever again. Talk about a living, breathing miracle!

What you do with that miracle is the critical question. Self-confidence is not as seen through the eyes of the beholder. It is as felt in the heart of the pursuer. Define self-confidence on your terms not those of others.

This shouldn’t be any great revelation but it’s not the human “won’t.” It’s the human “will!” Great things happen through a strong attitude of “will” rather than a negative attitude of “won’t.” The sewer of life is filled through the drain of negative thoughts.

Key # 2

In that regard, the second key to self-confidence is the will you exercise in pursuing your life’s purpose.

Having the will to build your self-confidence requires passionate self-discipline. You can’t grow until you have a passionate focus on who you really are and dedicate yourself to the discipline necessary to achieve all you can be.

One good book to help you with key number two is Be the Genius You Were Born to Be. Its Amazon page can be found here.

Key #3

Now, comes key number three: knowledge. You must create your own self-confidence by learning intellectually.

Your acquisition of knowledge is potentially one of the greatest gifts this life has to offer. One result of growing intellectually…the acquisition of knowledge…is the overcoming of fear. Learning through reading and study, about what you have to do to live your life to the fullest will give you the great courage to do just that.

Here is a link to a list of the Top 10 Best Books for Inquiring Minds.

Key #4

Finally, comes the fourth key to self-confidence.

It is developing the skills necessary to your having great self-confidence. Skill is defined as having the ability to do something well.

Of all the skills you need to develop in your life, those related to your ability to interact effectively with your fellow human beings are absolutely the most important to developing unwavering self-confidence.

There are lots of books on the topic of developing effective communication skills. But, in my opinion, one stands above all others. It is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

The book has been the “Gold Standard” in this topic area for over 80 years! Here is its Amazon page.

Crop of GNCC Shot

So, what are you going to do to act on any one of the above 4 keys to self-confidence?

Please share your thoughts by commenting below.  

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Theodore Nwangene

August 3, 2015 6:02 pm Reply

Hello Garry,
Building self confidence is really very essential, this will enable you to always hold yourself in high esteem and know that you’re the best.

This will also propel you to putting in your best in anything you’re doing knowing fully well that you can achieve anything.

Its all about getting rid of all your negative doubts and mindset about yourself and filling your mind with positive thoughts.

Thanks for sharing.

    Gary Greenfield

    August 4, 2015 1:59 pm Reply

    Thank you, Theodore, for your additional thoughts. Everything you said is true but in particular your last sentence says it all. “Its all about getting rid of all your negative doubts and mindset about yourself and filling your mind with positive thoughts.” Stay tuned for more!