Mindstate Motivation Blog

How to Create Amazing Relationships

b2ap3_thumbnail_j0438369Personal or professional relationships…who needs them?  Right?  If you haven’t figured it out already, we all need powerful relationships at both levels.  Why?  Without a great foundation of and a growing cadre of strong relationships your personal success will at best be diminished.  In the worst case your potential for success will be totally destroyed.

What is the solution to creating amazing personal and professional relationships?   Well, it all comes down to human nature and improving our communications skills.  Improving communication skills by remaining aware of two factors involved in every interpersonal relationship.

Human nature is a weird thing when you really think about it.  While we are all very different, we are also very much alike when it comes to interacting with each other.  Psychologists would tell us in any human interaction there is always a couple of dynamics at play.  One has to do with the personal aspects of the interaction and the other has to do with the impersonal aspects of why the interaction is taking place…the purpose of the conversation, in other words?

The personal dynamics taking place are focused on the people involved.  For example, right now, you and I are involved in one form of human interaction.  I am the “blogger” and you are the “reader”, as it were.  The personal dynamics between us can get in the way of the transference of the information I am sharing.

From your side of this interaction, you may be more focused on my personal profile shown in another section of the website; or the way I write; or you may be frustrated by not yet understanding my ultimate point, etc., rather than the message I am delivering.  Focusing on those superficial aspects of me, as a person, may hinder gaining from the message.  In other words, if you’re uncomfortable with my writing style, or some aspect of me noted in my profile it can be a real blockage to the purpose of this blog post.  Those personal dynamics sometimes can be so powerful that they give us the feeling we need to push away from the interaction.  They overwhelm any feeling of wanting to be pulled into the purpose for the discussion.  Thus, what I call the Push/Pull Theory of Human Interaction.

People are either pulling together or they are pushing apart.  Personal Push will almost inevitably defeat Purpose Pull.      This is true in every human interaction.   The heart of this issue is trust and personal regard.  Purpose Pull cannot be maximized until the other person feels a sense of trust and/or some degree of personal regard for you.

Our challenge is Personal Push is an absolute blockage to a productive outcome to any conversation because it generally exists only when people don’t trust you or to some degree are not personally comfortable with you.  Your first task in any human interaction is to minimize Personal Push quickly so trust and personal regard begins to build.  You do that by first focusing on building a positive personal relationship.  Communicate with people on a personal level and then they will be more favorably inclined toward your purpose.

In other words, you can’t get the job done until you get the personal relationship done.

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