Mindstate Motivation Blog

How You Act Is How People React Continued

b2ap3_thumbnail_j0316812In my last post, I introduced you to my “Push/Pull Theory of Human Interaction.”  The bottom-line in that post was your ability to build trust was the single most important key to you getting people to react to you favorably.  In this post, I will share with you my ideas on how you can encourage a favorable reaction from people.  Read my previous post to get clarity on some of the terms I use in this one.

There are three methods to reducing “Personal Push” and thereby, building “Purpose Pull.”  They are:  The Word; The Way; The Picture.  No, this is not going to be the second coming of the sermon on the mount!

By “The Word” I mean “what” you say.  There is no question the words you use in any human interaction impact your potential for making a favorable impression.  If you don’t know what to say due to your lack of knowledge about the subject matter or whatever you say is done offensively, you’re in deep trouble.  Trust will be impossible to build.

By “The Way” I mean “how” you say what you say.  You can have the most organized process of communication ever developed and, you can be loaded with subject matter knowledge…But, if you can’t deliver the information at the right pace for the other person; in the right tone or volume and with comfortable body language the interpersonal relationship is hindered.  “Personal Push” begins to invade the interaction.

The final method to increasing “Purpose Pull” and reducing “Personal Push” is “The Picture.”  Here, I’m talking about building trust by reaching the person through the power of pictures.  Picture the answer to this question:  Why did radio decline as the primary entertainment medium when television developed?

The answer is simple, if you think about it.  I’m sure at one time or another you have seen pictures from the 30’s and 40’s of families huddled around radios listening to a news flash or their favorite program.  When you think about it those people typically weren’t leaning back in a recliner.  They were leaning forward intensely listening, maybe even staring at the radio.  Why is that?

Exactly!  They were straining to envision the picture that was being portrayed only through words and a few special effects, maybe.  On the other hand, with TV, the audience didn’t have to work as hard at understanding the story being told.  Because people could both hear and see the message being conveyed it made it easier to grasp what was happening.

I’ll fall back on a detailed study done some years ago by a UCLA team of psychologists led by Albert Mehrabein.  The study’s focus was on determining the relative importance of the various ways we communicate with each other.  It found the following to be true:

For every message we convey, 7 % is carried by what we say…the words we use.  Another 38% of the message is communicated through the way we say the words in terms of pace, vocal quality, etc.  Finally 55% of the message is carried through the visual stimulus we provide…the body language we project and the visual aids we use to reinforce key points.

Said another way, if you’re depending only on the words you use and how you say them to communicate in any human interaction you are sending only 45% of the message.  You’re not giving yourself even half a chance to build trust enough to make a favorable impression!

Those are powerful facts…as true today as they were when the study was completed several decades ago.  So, get favorable reactions from other people through your ability to build trust by using appropriate words in an appropriate way and with visual impact thus, putting the “Push/Pull Theory of Human Interaction” to work for you rather than against you.

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